If it doesn't kill me...

Spare Change

2011-03-08T18:20:00.000-08:00

Fire. My muscles were on fire. Never before had I felt pain so debilitating. I could not raise my hands close enough to my mouth to eat. I could not sleep. I could barely work. Keyboards my constant enemy by day, I sat on the couch at night, bemoaning my awful state as my sweet young daughter played nursemaid, wrapping my arms in ice and bandages. I ate more protein than a caveman, drank more water than a drought-thirsty plain at the season's first rain. Bland foods, void of carbs and far away in flavor from the sweet treats that I loved so much, passed over my tongue like bile on its way back up. Egg whites? Skim milk? Vegetables? What private hell had I consigned myself to, and what was my reasoning for doing so?

Change.

Just over two years ago, I needed a physical, mental, and habitual change. The kind of change that altered the course of my daily life. An attitude alteration. A corporeal education. Personal regeneration. All of this and more had driven me to those painful moments. To the foods that would better serve my body while starving me of so many sweet pleasures to which my body had grown so fond of. I chose to change, and found a regimen that would help me to do it. I followed it to the end, and the results could not be argued with. Real results, real change.

Then life spiraled out of control. On a summer day, while standing with Elizabeth under the light of the sun, a darkness unlike any other descended. In an instant, change meant both nothing and everything at the same time. Life was forever changed by death. I am not sure what happened to most of the days that have passed since that awful moment, but it doesn't matter. Even if I did remember, it wouldn't serve to change a thing.

I need another healthy dose of change, so P90X starts again tomorrow.

I think this time I'll let a little bit of sugar and carbs skip through. Just to stay sane. Just for a change.

Day 90

2009-04-26T16:43:00.000-07:00

In the past 90 days I have learned that:

1. I can!

2. (Some) good food can be good tasting.

3. Moderation is not a self-inflicted punishment, more does not always mean better.

4. Flexibility; the possibilities are endless...

5. One hour a day is not a large sacrifice for a better health.

6. Muscles are fun!

7. Sleep is more important than I thought.

8. Elizabeth's cookies are the best.

9. Vitamins help keep you healthy (not sick once over the past 90 days).

10. It is good to accomplish a goal that seemed unreachable.

Final Measurements:

Waist: 33.5 (Was 37.5)

Weight: 186 (Was 202)

Not really...it's just the beginning.

Day 89

2009-04-24T18:09:00.000-07:00

This was one of my first cannon/gun experiences. Since then I have loaded, cleaned, fired, and owned guns. I have even loaded and fired cannon.

The truth is I never actually walked around with loaded guns on my person...until now!

Thank-you Tony Horton, and thank-you P90x!

Day 88

2009-04-24T17:59:00.000-07:00

Stress happens, it's part of life. I have done my best to ignore it, imagine it away, or prevent it all together, but stress enters my life from time to time. Working out has helped. I have learned to drain away the stress by pushing weights into the air, kicking imaginary ninjas, and namaste(ing) myself into a calm. I hope I can get better as time passes and I continue to work out. That is the goal, and what is the point of settings a goal unless you intend to work towards it achievement? I guess I just put myself out there, and come next week it will be time to push-up and pull-up (get it?)

Day 87

2009-04-24T17:46:00.001-07:00

I have followed this program for many reasons, one of which is the interest of personal health. To the left is an image of something that makes most men shudder. We all know it has to be done eventually, and we all know the day will come (for me, again) when age will require a regular prostrate inspection. I am not going to pretend that the past 90 days will make me immune to what it is that the doctor's cold and impersonal probing fingers will be searching for, but in my camp we believe that every little bit can't hurt.

Note to any of my friends that know they need to do something that will drastically change the course of their life and physical health but don't feel they possess the strength, faith, or know-how......I know that you can do it. I am a lazy, no good bum when it comes to completing most things that don't involve bed-wrestling, video games, food, fun, or books, but I am about to finish this 90 days, and if I can, anyone can. Just bring it.

Day 86

2009-04-21T20:19:00.000-07:00

Though it is rest week, I am doing the cardio workouts in order to keep a rhythm going and so I do not lose steam for the next round. I also feel the need to make up lost ground from a few workouts missed. I need to burn some more goo, more gristle, more gunk, as Tony likes to say.

In this the final week, I find myself looking in the mirror a lot, and even more often down at my stomach. I am impressed with the results strictly on a "Wow, this program really works!" basis, not from a "how powerful I am" or "how great I look" angle. I still feel I have a ways to go. I would like a six pack at least once in my life, and since I don't drink beer I guess it will have to be a belly six pack.

Day 85

2009-04-21T06:12:00.001-07:00

Long day, and I could not find the time for the workout. I am frustrated at the failure and do not want this to become the norm, but I am aware that an attitude of failure that stems from missing 1 workout can be more detrimental than the missing of 1 workout. I am trying to find a way to balance everything, that is part of why I started this whole program. What good am I to anyone if I am ripped with muscles and my pants are too big, if I ignore my responsibilities as a husband, father, business owner, brother, son, friend, leader, etc, etc, etc...

It all seems so overwhelming right now. So much has happened over the past three weeks to derail me. I am fighting to stay on the track, reminding myself that I don't have it so bad as the next guy. That self-reminder is all well and good until one more item gets thrown onto the pile that is mine to reduce. My challenges may not seem so large when compared to some, but that doesn't mean they aren't valid. True perspective is not one dimensional; I have been abusing the term for a long time.

Day 84

2009-04-21T05:53:00.000-07:00

Here is where I wanted to be on this rest day. I just wanted to experience the peace and serenity of that week spent in Sedona. No worries, no responsibilities, no fuss. Just sun, joy, and a lot of fun.
I am eager to finish this 90 day trek, not just to start eating Junior Mints again, but so that I can start another round of it, this time without all the diet worries. I am curious to see what results I enjoy while eating (some) of my favorite foods in moderation.

Day 83

2009-04-18T17:32:00.000-07:00

More to go.

Day 82

2009-04-18T17:26:00.000-07:00

And

Feeling good.

Day 81

2009-04-17T09:55:00.000-07:00

Let's talk about sacrifice. Wise men have said that sacrifice is giving up something which is good in order to obtain something which is better. I can agree with that, but it doesn't always make the moment of sacrifice any less difficult to endure. I love Cheez Doodles. Not Cheese Puffs, not Cheese Curls, Rings, or Cheezie Doozits. I love Wise brand Cheez Doodles. I have not eaten a Cheez Doodle in weeks and weeks and weeks. My pants have been falling down as of late, and I have to re-tuck my shirt on average of 25 times per day. I know that this is supposed to be the better, but I really miss my Cheez Doodles.

Day 80

2009-04-15T16:44:00.000-07:00

I'm a big kid now!
You should see all the pull-ups I can do.

Day 79

2009-04-15T16:40:00.000-07:00

Ever see a tank jump? Come and watch me every Tuesday during Plyometrics.

Nuff' said.

Day 78

2009-04-15T16:35:00.000-07:00

P90X is like a buckin' bronco.

It tried to shake me last week.

Nuthin' Doin!

Day 77

2009-04-12T17:51:00.001-07:00

A good rest day all in all. A good day to rest and reflect.

Day 76

2009-04-12T17:36:00.000-07:00

This week has not been the best. I have missed doubles, and even missed a regular workout or two this week due to some major family issues. I have not liked it, but I know that family comes first, so I am okay with it.
With that being said, I did enjoy some form of workout Saturday. I helped a good friend manhandle over 4 tons of bagged wood pellets into the back of a rental truck, then unload them at his house. It was not easy work, and I made the best use of it for my biceps, forearms, and shoulders.

Day 75

2009-04-12T17:35:00.000-07:00

Day 74

2009-04-10T15:57:00.000-07:00

Emotionally,

Mentally,

Spiritually,

and

Spiritually

drained...

BUT I STILL WORKED OUT!

Day 73

2009-04-10T15:47:00.000-07:00

Felt like this today. Didn't get to the workout due to a number of major family issues. Don't regret not working out, just regret not going to BED!

Day 72

2009-04-07T17:24:00.000-07:00

I hit it again. The wall.

I came home today, determined to do doubles and Abs. Doubles I did, Abs I did not. By the end of Cardio (which was after Plyo), my feet were leaden, an unbelievable burden to lift. I had to chill.

I need to be wise, or I am going to crash so hard I won't be able to finish this thing.

Day 71

2009-04-06T18:04:00.000-07:00

I may have overdone it tonight. After Chest and Back, I wandered downstairs, weary and trembling from exhaustion. Elizabeth was none too happy with me. My eyes were bloodshot and I was barely alert. Nothing a few carbs and a quart of recovery drink couldn't fix though. I am pissed that I couldn't do Ab Ripper X tonight, so I will have to double up for the rest of the week.

Day 70

2009-04-06T18:00:00.000-07:00

Restful Conference Sunday.

Day 69

2009-04-04T13:31:00.000-07:00

The other day at a client, I was speaking with an accountant regarding his laptop. There was another employee sitting at her desk close by, but when she got up to leave the conversation turned to this:

Him: "Matt, are you okay?" (This in a whisper.)

Me: "Yeah, things are going well, no complaints."

Him: "Matt, you-you're not sick are you?"

Me: "What? Sick? No, I am fine." (Puzzled)

Him: "Matt, I can see it in your face, you have lost weight. Are you sure you're not sick?"

Me: "Wow, I'm glad you noticed, I have been working out, I am doing P90X..."

Anyway, just another boost to the ego.

Day 68

2009-04-03T17:19:00.000-07:00

I thought I achieved it; the Yin-Yang of Work-out Nirvana. Life in symmetry, all things constant, time and space surrounding me as equals, blood and breath flowing in with the out, muscles and bones working together to forge my ordinary man into the super. Well...there is more work for me to do. I nearly passed out this afternoon after Legs and Back. I have been pushing pretty hard, and I didn't get enough sleep last night or eat enough food today. Oops, won't do that again. (At least I will try not to do that again.)

Day 67

2009-04-02T17:31:00.000-07:00

This is a journey, these 90 days of eating right, working out, trying to stay alert and awake at any given point of the day. With that in mind I thought I would work out to the music of Journey today. (Okay, so I speed-tivo-watched American Idol last night.) Not too bad for pumping iron it turns out; even the slow songs gave me energy. The best was of course, "Don't Stop Believing" but they all had sound rythm, sweet riffs, and they reminded me of good times. Maybe tomorrow I'll try Metallica.

Day 66

2009-04-01T20:54:00.000-07:00

My wife was a bit hesitant to post photos of me in my underwear last night, until I reminded her that the first post in this blog has photos of me in my underwear, and that she took them. I think she is just afraid of all the ladies checking out my Sugar Lumps.

Day 65

2009-03-31T19:48:00.000-07:00

Okay, I failed to post pictures and measurements at the end of Phase 2, so here they are:

Weight: 190 (day 1 was 202)
Waist: 34 (was 37.5)
Chest: 40
Biceps: 14.5 (same size, but made of muscle, not 14.5 inches of hanging fat)

Some definition the works here...

All that Plyo and Kenpo has paid off in the legs. Feeling good.

Losing 3.5 inches off the waist in 8 weeks feels pretty sweet.

Day 64

2009-03-30T15:50:00.000-07:00

I feel hulkish, but on fire at the same time. Push-ups and other tricep exercises one after another for one hour...no mercy, no real break, and no rest for the weary. I hate it, but I love it. Only 4 more weeks to go!

Day 63

2009-03-29T20:04:00.000-07:00

This is a painting of the ship "Restless." It captures my feelings for today. Rest days should be more restful, but instead mine was a day of mired urgency. All my sails were unfurled and full of wind, but my anchor line was taut, holding me fast in place.

Day 62

2009-03-28T17:44:00.000-07:00

After a doubles workout of Kenpo and Cardio, I felt healthy enough to head off with my kids and nephews in tow to the house of the bacterial mouse; Chuck E. Cheese's. I hope that eating healthy, taking vitamins, and being in great shape will prevent the contraction of third world type illnesses that can come from touching tokens, buttons, and other surfaces that thousands upon thousands of snot rolling, mouth wiping, butt-picking, bathroom using (but not washing) hands have touched.
One can hope, can't he?

Day 61

2009-03-28T17:39:00.000-07:00

Today wasn't a day for doing much. I woke up in a funk due to family matters. I had a headache, hadn't slept well, and wasn't in the mood to work out. But I did. I went straight up to the room of pain and did Legs and Back. I am glad I did. I spent the rest of the day on the couch, watching movies (Blueray rocks!) and playing XBox/PS3. I'll do cardio and abs tomorrow with Kenpo.

Day 60

2009-03-26T19:22:00.000-07:00

Need sleep...so tired...many workouts...many droplets of sweat...many calories burned...many pounds lost...many more days to go...

But, it could be worse;

I could have to wear a suit everyday.

I could have a two hour commute each way.

I could be abducted by aliens. (that might actually be cool)

I could have only one and one-half eyebrows.

I could be a day trader.

I could be uninspired.

I could be mean.

I could be a woman, and not married to Elizabeth.

I could be in a psych ward in Independence, Missouri...

There is much to live for today, much to live for anyday. BRING IT!

Day 59

2009-03-25T17:44:00.000-07:00

My father had a set of antique wooden dumbells, and probably still does. They were very small, so I was always able to lift them with ease. I never understood why they were so light. Today I was wishing for those antique wooden dumbells after I decided to ramp up the weight I used for "Shoulders and Arms." It hurt, but in a good way of course. Fewer reps with more weight equals bigger results. For this last month I am all about the results.

Day 58

2009-03-24T17:34:00.001-07:00

Mind over fatter. Plyometrics is all about it. The more you believe, the more you will achieve. It ain't working if it ain't burning, but it's hard to remember that in the very moment your legs are toasting over from squats, hot foot, or truck tires. To quit, to surrender, to call it a day on the first round, that is what your legs scream, so you drown out with the crackling sound of muscles on fire.

Day 57

2009-03-23T18:07:00.000-07:00

Boy 6:00 AM comes early, don't she?

I did it though, and I am glad, because Chest and Arms, followed by Ab Ripper X worked me over this afternoon. 205 pushups, almost as many pull-ups, and a whole lotta ab-ripping goin' on.

Day 56

2009-03-22T15:30:00.000-07:00

I gotta be honest, I am more apprehensive about starting phase 3 of P90X than I was about starting Phase 1. This is the last 5 weeks, the chance for me to really put up or shut up, and the final push for muscle, fat-burning, and toning up. The schedule is rough, with 4 days a week of doubles, 2 days of singles, and a rest day. I am going to do my best to get up at 6:00 and pump pump out the cardio (43 minutes) so I do not have to worry all day about the impending 2 hour workout waiting for me that afternoon. The meal plan changes too, with more carbs in the diet than proteins. Here we go!

Day 55

2009-03-21T14:25:00.000-07:00

I love a good workout now, and so my need for workout clothing has increased more than 6 fold, because I was lucky to work out 1 day a week before P90x. I find myself donning sweaty shirts, still damp from the day before, smelly underwear, and questionable shorts. I am not a stinky person, as most people know I shower three times a day (minimum), so the fact that I am willing to put on clothing that is still moist from yesterday's workout speaks volumes about my need to workout everyday. Monday starts the last phase, and I will be working out even more than I have been. It will be interesting to see what transpires in the clothing department of my life.

Day 54

2009-03-20T21:30:00.001-07:00

Call me "The Plank" Core exercises are growing on me. Plank to Chatarunga without dropping the knees, Banana to Superman, Dreya Rolls, it's all good!

Day 53

2009-03-19T19:02:00.000-07:00

Why is the man-belly the hardest fat to get rid of? I am ready for the last phase, this things needs to go! I know I have lost weight, and that my pants are falling down, but I want flatness. I know, I must be patient, my DOME wasn't built in a day, so why should it take but a day to demolish?

Day 52

2009-03-18T19:53:00.000-07:00

Tonight we hit the library. After that we had a few minutes before piano lessons, so the youngest asked for food, and more particularly, McDonald's. Against better judgment, we went. I ended up ordering a plain grilled chicken sandwich with cheese, and I must confess, I ate a few fries. Turns out I haven't been missing a thing by not eating there for the past couple of months; McDonald's sucks! I thought that I really missed the 1/4 pounder with cheese, but after being in there again tonight, I think I'll pass. Heck, the frozen turkey burgers from Walmart taste better, and are better for me to boot!

I have only a few days left before the big push, the last four weeks of intensity. I plan on bringing it, and not missing a single workout. I may double up on the abs too. I also have to set some strict rules about my eating schedule. I need to eat more often during the day, and I am no longer going to eat after 8:00 from Sunday to Thursday. On weekends I will only eat later if we are out, and in that case I will only eat protein and veggies.

Day 51

2009-03-17T18:11:00.000-07:00

I used to hate the Core Synergistics workout, but today I loved it. I engaged my core, and concentrated hard on keeping my form, doing everything right. Well, I can feel it in my "core" as I write this, and it is a good feeling. I am going through confidence ups and downs lately, and have had to remind myself that I just passed the halfway mark, and the hardest is yet to come, with 4 weeks, each with 4 days of doubles ahead. BRING IT!

Day 50

2009-03-16T18:05:00.000-07:00

Yoga; A time to clear the mind, sweat out the pores, and flex every muscle in the body. Serious business. Then why do I laugh every time Tony says "Get the turtle head out" when we are in upward dog? P90X may be changing some things about me, but not everything.

Day 49

2009-03-15T16:27:00.001-07:00

Whole Wheat; it has never been all that appealing to me. I really like the color brown, but not when it comes to bread, or cereal (unless it includes the word cocoa in the name), or pancakes. And heaven above combine with all the angels to forbid anyone ever putting it in my cookies! Well, that has all changed for me. I now find whole wheat pancakes to be more flavorful and texturous (not a real word), and whole wheat bread to be more rewarding and full of goodness. I enjoy a full grain cereal with raisins. In the past I shunned the dry, boring, whole wheat crackers in search of the white, savory buttered variety instead. No more! This is a new concept for me, and it has not come easily. The last nail in the coffin for white, refined, filtered, flour was the cookies we made today. No butter, no white flour, just whole wheat and a bit of oil, plus several secret ingredients that made the cookie that made my month. I shared them with a group of accomplished cookie consumers this afternoon, and all 16 of them rated the cookies as top notch. I am converted. What is happening to me?

Day 48

2009-03-14T14:17:00.000-07:00

I have come to a new point in this process. I use to get headaches if I had a Diet Coke (with lime) every day, and then for whatever reason went a day or two without it. I now suffer headaches if I fail to work out early enough in the day. I think it a mental thing, but nonetheless, it's working.

Day 47

2009-03-13T21:56:00.000-07:00

How am I feeling today? I need new jeans, I had to keep pulling them up. With all the misery in the world today, I am glad that this is about the most annoying thing in my life is right now.

Day 46

2009-03-13T04:56:00.000-07:00

I was asked again, this time by an older gentleman, if I had lost weight. Yeehaw!

Yoga was not so painful as I always expect it to be. I am able to do push-ups in between dogs, and the vinyasas are not so hard as they used to be. It is harder to do when a six year old is running around the room, screaming, punching walls, etc, but I dealt with it well until he started leaping over me while I was in corpse. I sent him from the room at that point.

Day 45

2009-03-11T19:43:00.001-07:00

Day 44

2009-03-10T19:31:00.000-07:00

I awoke early this morning. I am not sure if it was the fact that I left the light off in the bathroom, or that I was not awake enough to see clearly, but as I pondered my naked form in the mirror, I seemed skinny. I felt that way all day, as if I took up less room in the world. What a wonderful feeling! As I drive I will sometimes grab at my belly to see just how much of it is there. This is not new, I have been doing this for the past several years, a sort of reminder that I needed to do something before it grew too late. Today, I felt as though I had done something, and I actually have so that made it so much the better. I felt that a significant change has come to the treasure trail. It is no longer a trail down a mountain, but rather a trail down a hill. I hope to soon have a trail on a flat, rippled plain, much like parts of the Midwest.

Before:

Now:

After:

Day 43

2009-03-09T17:19:00.000-07:00

Today I fought Goliath and won.

Day 42

2009-03-08T17:05:00.000-07:00

Ignore the fact that these look like...well, you know. I wanted to post something that combined the latest hot topic (Playstation 3 purchasing) and P90x, since these are the two things foremost on my mind over the last 24 hours. I found this picture of a PS3 grill, and thought that it would serve nicely. Protein and PS3.
I know, it's a lame post, but hey, I can't be amazing every day. I do need to add that I may have converted a few other people to the cause, and that makes me happy, because one part of my reasoning behind this was to be a good example and influence on friends and family.

Day 41

2009-03-07T13:14:00.000-08:00

Kenpo to the Burnout Paradise soundtrack...talk about taking it up a notch. I punched, kicked, kneed, and blocked my way to Sweatsville, just a couple miles north of Calorie County. Especially during N.E.R.D "Rock Star Poser"

"You can't be me, I'm a Rock Star, I'm rhyming on the top of a cop car, I'm a rebel and my .44 pops far, It's almost over now, It's almost over now!"

Day 40

2009-03-07T13:04:00.000-08:00

Last night we went out for dinner with some good friends that we actually haven't seen for a few weeks. We arrived at their house to pick them up, and my chum's wife said, "Matt, have you lost weight? Your face looks skinnier." I happily thanked her for noticing, playing it cool and telling her about P90x, but later that night as I lay in the dark of our bedroom, I wept (not really, but close). That is what I have hoped would happen! One of the main reasons I am doing this is because my face was growing at an alarming daily rate. Thanks P90x, and thank-you to a good friend that noticed my shrinking face!

Day 39

2009-03-05T16:59:00.001-08:00

Yoga this afternoon. It was long. Since I moved Abs to Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, I knew that 16 minutes of hell were waiting and that made it all the more intolerable until I decided to challenge myself. RESULTS! I was able to hold the toe-locks, get into crane for 35 seconds, and get this...WHEEL!

Abs sucked, but at least it was quick. I did notice that I am holding my form better and using my core and abs more, instead of the little cheating moves that your body slides into if you don't have muscles or lack focus.

Day 38

2009-03-04T19:40:00.000-08:00

Last month, upon hearing of my P90x efforts, a client asked me if I had a pair of "goal pants." I replied that I didn't really, because my goals had nothing to do with clothes.

"Oh, you've got to have a pair of goal pants, honey, or else what's the point?" Was her reply.

I suppose I am new to this losing weight to fit into something sleek and sexy, it seems shallow and depressing to have pants as a goal. Why not health and longevity as the goal? Well, tonight I unwittingly discovered my "goal pants." They are a pair of dark Banana Republic trousers (flat front, duh). The label says 35, but from the day I bought them a couple of years ago (without trying them on until I got home), they felt like 32 due to their slim fit and my fat waist. I have never worn them. At the time of purchase I was still in denial and believed I was a comfortable 34. In reality, I was more comfortable in 36, but we all know how that goes; 30, 32, 34, 36, 38, 40, 42...it seems to move upward to match your age. To steal a line from Albi the racist dragon, "Well not anymore!" I now fit perfectly into my Banana Republic Goal Pants, with room to spare! I guess this means that I will have to make a special trip up the the BR in May when this is all over. Those of you who know me well already understand what this represents for me; upon entering the BR store, I start to feel quite "randy" for no reason that I can explain. I have tried to, but it is something you have to experience for yourself. If you don't have a store that does this for you, seek one out, I highly recommend it.

Day 37

2009-03-03T20:46:00.000-08:00

I get tired. Sometimes these workouts wear me down and I do things. Stupid things. Like shaving my forehead. I forgot to post this the other day, probably due to being too tired. Elizabeth was in the shower, and I was standing at the sink shaving. I bent down to stretch sore butt muscles and my hand moved up to my forehead. I proceeded to shave my forehead. I can only assume that this was a subconscious force of habit, my hand returning to the height at which it normally finds itself while I am shaving my face. After rubbing the electric razor in circles across my forehead, I moved on to my right eyebrow, at which point I realized what I was doing. It was funny, and Elizabeth nearly fell out of the shower laughing with me. Anyway, I searched online for a picture of someone shaving their forehead, since my camerawoman is already in bed and her camera is downstairs, but I found none. The closest thing I could find was Ms. Spears shaving her head. Since I tend to from time to time act in similar fashion, I thought, "Why not?"

Day 36

2009-03-03T05:41:00.000-08:00

Ice is nice. After 109 push-ups and countless other weight-lifting reps, in addition to 45 minutes of cardio and 16 minutes of ab-ripping movements, I like ice. I am fortunate in having a little doctor-in-the-making in Hannah, my precious little 9 year old. She thrills at wrapping me in ace bandages and ice packs while we sit together on the couch and watch "Corner Gas." I am not sure what I would do without her. She loves ice too, maybe I'll buy her some Lego ice cube trays.

Day 35

2009-03-02T12:07:00.001-08:00

Phase 1 has been done for a week, I guess I should post some photos. The lighter photos are before shots, although I hope that is evident in the photos. I threw in a leg shot because I thought it looked good, even though I don't have a real before shot on them.

I think it's working, but the greatest results will show at the end of phases 2 and 3. I am not discouraged, I shall keep at it!

Day 34

2009-02-28T17:23:00.000-08:00

Sure way to kill a man: Bake his favorite cookies during his Kenpo workout, only 34 days into a 90 day fitness program. I love you Elizabeth!

Today's Kenpo was more intense. I felt the sweet burn sooner into it because I really hiked up the workout yesterday by using heavier weights and pushing myself farther than I thought I could go. I am looking forward to a rest day tomorrow, but am eager for the days to slip by and get me to the other end of this program. I am impatient to see clear, qualified results (in photo form, I mean).

Day 33

2009-02-27T16:33:00.000-08:00

I sure hope everyone buys tickets! Only 57 days left to the GUN SHOW! Mad amounts of curls, pull-ups, and weights today. I learned that corn-on-the-cob-pull-ups hurt so good.

Day 32

2009-02-27T16:28:00.001-08:00

I am crane. Yoga good. Sedona missed.

Day 31

2009-02-25T18:49:00.000-08:00

I have decided to catch up to where I should be after missing Monday and Tuesday. That meant Chest, Shoulders, and Triceps, followed by Abs, followed by Plyometrics. I am feeling it, but more than that, I am feeling back into this. I did 92 push-ups, and I had no idea there were so many ways to do them! Also, while I didn't have the best form, I was able to do 10 one-armed push-ups! Look out Palance!

Day 30

2009-02-25T18:48:00.000-08:00

Flight home. No Workout.

Day 29

2009-02-25T18:43:00.000-08:00

Just worked out the legs and the pelvis today. All day date in Sedona, with no guilt.

Day 28

2009-02-25T18:41:00.000-08:00

Rest Day. Here is where we rested.

Day 27

2009-02-25T18:40:00.000-08:00

No indoor yoga today. Instead we hiked to Devil's Bridge outside Sedona.

Day 26

2009-02-20T07:04:00.001-08:00

Day 25

2009-02-20T06:55:00.000-08:00

I highly recommend a good 60 minute stretch before boarding a plane. Wow, what a difference.

Day 24

2009-02-18T16:11:00.000-08:00

I HEART my heart rate. During Kenpo today my average was nice and low at 135. I worked it pretty hard too. I thought it would be higher since I am so pumped that WE LEAVE FOR SEDONA TOMORROW! Whoo-hoo!

Day 23

2009-02-17T16:48:00.000-08:00

Core Synergistics: This one works you all over, and there are not a lot of breaks. Form and focus is key to this one. The exercises are not all run of the mill, so it takes concentration. Superman-Banana was different; you start on your belly with your arms, legs, and chest off the floor, then roll over onto your back into the shape of a banana. Loved it, while I hated it.

Maybe I will become one with both Yoga and Core Synergistics, ending up like this guy:

Day 22

2009-02-16T16:03:00.001-08:00

Time got the best of me today. I missed 90 minutes of blissful Yoga. The guilt nearly killed me, but I have to accept things that I cannot fix.

Day 21

2009-02-16T16:00:00.001-08:00

Whole Wheat pancakes on rest/stretch day. Loved them. Will still eat (in greater quantities) after 90 days is up.

Day 20

2009-02-14T13:06:00.000-08:00

Kenpo X again. This picture (though not of me) conveys the soreness. I do love it though (Kenpo, not this guys butt). Looking forward to stretch tomorrow, and then a week of recovery.

Day 19

2009-02-13T09:36:00.001-08:00

Moments of great pressure will produce one of two things: achievement or failure. This is real pressure boys and girls, P90X is intense. I am feeling the emotional and physical riptides as they do their best to not only pull me down, but to erode the sand beneath my feet as well. My side has been hurting since Wednesday, when I really hit the Abs hard with a give-it-more-than-I've-got workout. No regrets, just a lot of wincing and whining ever since. Today I was goofing around the house, basically fart-sacking it, thinking I would take it easy and go with the flow. To workout was something I'd think about later. Maybe I could give myself a day off to heal and not feel guilt or regret. So I worked on the 80's party play list, watched some FOTC, and answered a few business emails. This went on until about 10:45. By 11:05 I was warmed up and well into the Legs and Back workout, not taking it easy on myself at all. Do I want results, or do I want to quit? I kept talking myself through the lunges and chin-ups until it was over. The the big question; Abs? Well I popped in the dvd before I could think about the pain, and I did all 349 moves in my best form yet. This is symbolic for me. I am not a quitter, but I am one to prolong the agony if I can. This is failure in my new mind, because the result from diving in and strangling a challenge is usually far better than from sticking a toe timidly in the water while pondering the cold, the depth, and the dark.

Let's see what I think in two weeks time when the workouts really begin...

Day 18

2009-02-12T18:38:00.000-08:00

There are some things you imagine doing with your beloved. Things both mentionable and unmentionable in public, depending of course upon your audience. I did something tonight that I have never once imagined doing with Elizabeth. Our bodies were contorted, turning, twisting. Our breathe was heavy, hearts pounding. It lasted 90 minutes, 95 if you count the kids running in and getting in the way, then trying to join us. We only stopped for water twice, and in the end we lay still and moaned. Tired yet relaxed, we hope to be doing it again together twice next week, and maybe more in Sedona.

I'm talking about YOGA sickos!

Day 17

2009-02-11T17:50:00.000-08:00

I have only done Ab Ripper 8 times, and check out the results! Again, I lie. I hope to be eventually saying that I have done it 36 times and post a similar photo (but of me). For now, I am content in the fact that when I started this program, I couldn't do half of the reps in any kind of form, and can now do all of them in a much improved form. 349 ab-ripping movements that leave me winded, sweating, and at times, screaming (I was a little loud this afternoon at the end of 50 Mason Twists with my feet off the ground). 90 minutes of Namaste tomorrow, I'd better get some sleep!

Day 16

2009-02-10T19:45:00.000-08:00

I yawned all during Plyometrics this afternoon. I need some serious REM sleep. Things are getting easier as far as the workout reps go, but stamina is becoming a problem, and I know the reason...I GO TO BED FAR TOO LATE! Somethings gotta give, because soon I'll be into Doubles, with Cardio in the morning 3 days a week, plus Abs 3 days a week in the afternoon, all on top of the daily hour long workouts. The title of this blog wasn't inspired was it?

Day 15

2009-02-09T17:42:00.000-08:00

75 gruelling days to go! I was just pooped today. Push ups, chin ups, abs -rippers. The good news is that I weighed in at 195 this morning. That's a loss of 7 lbs. in 2 weeks, something I am not sure I have done since the parasite days of Paraguay.

I bought some new protein bars, and they are delicious. GNC Cinnamon Bun. They are easy to chew, and taste so much better than those MetRX bars, which taste like choco-tar and give you a headache they are so thick.

Looking forward to putting this week behind me and getting into the back stretch of phase 1. Too tired to go on, must keep it short.

Day 14

2009-02-08T19:40:00.000-08:00

Stretch. One hour of stretching feels good. I am now able to tuck my head between my knees, with my hands around my heels. It has been decades since I could do that. I especially love the spine rollers and coming down slowly out of plow, it feels great on the back.

I had a rough time sticking to the P90X menu last night, but I held my ground and am very pleased with myself. I was out with good friends, and after eating a protein and veggie meal (no fries, and only one appropriate carb), we went for dessert. I had meat and veggie chili instead of the mountain of chocolate cake that they all ordered. Once their cakes came I had no interest, and was able to ignore the sugar craving. On to week 3!

Day 13

2009-02-07T13:31:00.000-08:00

Today I was asked to give a Kenpo seminar to several hundred Samurai. See what P90X has done for me in just 13 days! Thank-you Tony Horton!

I jest; actually, while I felt more balanced and quite capable of the high kicks and punches, I am still far from beating the bad dudes from the Cobra Kai dojo ("Karate Kid" reference). But I'll soon teach them to strike first, strike hard, and show no mercy!

Day 12

2009-02-06T18:48:00.000-08:00

Who doesn't love a beefy calf? I know I do, but I am not talking tender and juicy, I am talking lean, tight and mean. You may have guessed already, but I am not talking about eating veal, I am talking about my own calf muscles. Today was legs and arms baby, and we worked 'em! I love/hate the calf raises, but wonder what it will make my already enormous calf muscles look like. Anyone who has been diving with me has seen me struggle to slip a wetsuit over my calves and is sure to be laughing as they read this. I wish I would get comments on my guns, or on my nice tush (well actually I have heard tell of my nice butt from time to time), but in the summer it is all about the calves. Even guys have made mention of them and how "big" they are. By the end of this I will probably be wearing slimmer waisted-custom made bell bottoms.

Day 11

2009-02-05T19:20:00.000-08:00

Namaste!

Yoga; I never thought I would even try it, let alone dig it. And I do dig it. 90 minutes of strength, balance, stretch, and a deep sweat during good pain. It is still uncomfortable, but my form is improving and I am breathing better. I need to try it on a harder surface, the carpet is not conducive to balancing on one foot with the other behind your head. Today I stripped down to my skivvies, the pants and shirts giving me too much trouble during some of the poses. I am not sure the kids will ever again want to be in the same room with me during yoga.

Food is going well, tonight I cooked up some ham with turkey sausage, then eggs whites mixed with spinach, peppers (red and green), onions, and a spritz of cheese. Mixed all together it was really good. I feel the way I imagine a life-long smoker feels after quiting: food tastes different now, and food I would never eat is appealing. I threw some green peppers on my turkey and cheese sandwich this afternoon. Weird.

I think this has also been good for the kids. Solomon was shirtless this afternoon, mimicking some of the exercises he has seen me doing over the past 11 days. It was cute, and I have liked seeing my kids imitate something nice and useful that they have seen me do. I also find myself reaching a deeper calm. I am starting to shake things off, a lowering of stress has taken place within me. Namaste!

Day 10

2009-02-04T13:35:00.000-08:00

Double digits on day count, and I am working hard for the day that I enter double-digits on pounds lost. Thus far, I have lost 2 lbs, and am not excited so much about losing the weight, but about the fact that I am learning how to keep it off. I am looking to lose about 15 lbs, and if you look at what 1 lb of fat looks like (see photo)-----------> that's still a lot of extra weight to carry around, even if it is equally distributed across my belly!

Ice packs are working, now I just need to try to go to bed earlier. That is the one thing I have not been able to adjust, but I am patient, it will come in time. The trouble is that I fight the sleepies until it is too late, and then I am wired. I am going to try to get back to reading more, tv keeps me awake too long.

Something weird is occuring within, and I keep waiting for it to end. I come home and work out, no procrastination, no delay or excuses. Sex and Xbox have a new companion. Gotta go, I'm starving again.

Day 09

2009-02-03T16:25:00.000-08:00

Last week during Plyometrics (aka "the mother") my average heart rate was 169, which is not too bad. 151 is far better, baby! That was my average today! I was not a gazelle or anything, but I was also far more graceful and balanced than last week.

I am going to wear my heart rate monitor during a session of partner-passion, just to see how fast it gets beating. I bet I hit 185-190.

Have I mentioned that Elizabeth is a real help in all of this? She gives me the nod on the right food, the shake on the wrong, and is coming up with ways of sneaking veggies into my meals so that I can eat the required dosage (yes I said dosage, they are like bad medicine). I would not do this without her, I am too weak-willed.

Today I opened my file cabinet bottom drawer and slammed at shut with a shriek at the sight of Junior Mints, Lindt Chocolates, Hot Tamales, and Tootsie Pops that I had forgotten were in there. I love Junior Mints, and like Cinderella sang way back when man-chicks rocked with pride, "Don't know what you've got, 'til it's gone." I think I may have found a solution to the jonesing for them though: Junior Mints Cologne. You know one can order anything online, you just have to know where to look. Try this site for Valentine's Day http://www.demeterfragrance.com/

Day 08

2009-02-02T19:50:00.000-08:00

That's it, I quit!

Just kidding. Actually, I am more excited about the program this week than I was last Monday. I had a long day today; I didn't get home until after 5:00,
and was upstairs working out within 15 minutes. Chest and Back baby! Push-ups, pull-ups, and pain, followed by the ever unpopular AB RIPPER X!. I am trying to concentrate on form rather than the number of reps, which makes the workouts that much harder and more frustrating. I picked up a 30lb rubber band with an over-the-door strap, and it is money! The angle and greater resistance make for better pull-ups.
Just a note about Tony, the trainer on the dvds. I like him. He is a motivator, and though his jokes wouldn't be funny if I were sitting on my rump eating quarts of ice cream and pounds of cake, I love them when I'm sweating my baguettes off and the pain is too much to bear without a little silliness. So you joke on, Tony Horton, and I'll keep on laughing through the sweat and tears

Day 7

2009-02-01T15:33:00.000-08:00

Day 7: REST.

And on the seventh day, P90X participants did rest from their labours, which had been many throughout the week. Hey, I made it through the first week, and I didn't die! I think I lost 2 pounds, and I feel an incredible sense of accomplishment, along with a sense of dread for the week ahead. One day at a time!

Day 6

2009-01-31T19:29:00.000-08:00

Day 6 Kenpo
I am Cato! Kicking, punching, shouting, blocking, the Pink Panther would have never beaten me. Truth be told it was yet another reminder of just how white this cracker really is. Very little in the way of coordination in this frame, but it will come in time. I really liked this one because the shouting is about power and strength instead of the other workouts, when I shout out in pain and frustration.

I will end this posting with photos of my date tonight with Elizabeth:

Day 5

2009-01-30T16:20:00.000-08:00

Mobility! I have some again! I think that night's extremely hot bath followed by ice packs and 3 Ibuprofen worked. I still ached this morning, but not so bad that I wanted to lay down (on my back) and sob uncontrollably.
The nutrition plan has been very hard to stick to today. I really want an Oreo, but I also find myself craving plain Cheerios, skim milk, and get this-NO SUGAR! What is happening to me?

Day 5: Legs and Back
I liked this one, it allowed me to focus on my legs, which don't ache as badly as my arms. The calf raises were insane; 15 slow, followed by 10 rapid-fire, in three different positions for a total of 75. I loved them, but that might be because I already have monster calves. I look forward to Kenpo tomorrow, I hope I get to float like a butterfly and sting like a bee!

Day 4

2009-01-29T15:36:00.000-08:00

I feel like I should be running for President, since I can only move my arms like Senator John McCain. Shaving, drinking, scratching, these are things that I can only remember doing, because I no longer have the range of motion that I did 4 days ago. Today I bought 2 ice packs and 2 ace bandages to wrap around my triceps, along with muscle rub that smells like the TV room at a rest home, and some Excedrin PM. Let's hope I can get some sleep tonight.

Day 4: Yoga
90 minutes of burning, sweaty, imbalance. That is the best way to describe this one. I twisted and contorted my body into positions I haven't even imagined in my wildest erotic fantasies. I really like "Fetal" and "Happy Baby," but hate "Downward Dog" because it is the gateway to so many other evil positions. FYI, I didn't fart during any of the poses. Come to think of it, I haven't really farted since Monday night.

I smell brownies everywhere I go now. I think I am in the serious detox stage of week 1, the make or break point on the diet. I am exhausted, in constant pain, and I really want some sugar that doesn't come from a tree. My will is weakening, but with Elizabeth's support, I think I can make it just a couple more days. If I can do that, I might be able to do the whole 90.

Day 3

2009-01-28T07:17:00.000-08:00

Pain. I am trying to remember the last time, if ever, that I felt such pain in my arms, particularly my right arm (and it does all my favorite things). I got very little sleep last night, waking every 30 minutes or so to what felt like cramps, but was just the tightness that comes after not moving my arms for some time. I heard myself cry out at one point. The symbol above is for Ibuprofen, my newest friend.

Elizabeth had to button my shirt this morning. This is just a small example of the many things she has been doing for me that add up to what is in my eyes and heart huge support. I hope she has the endurance for 90 days of it.

Day 3: Shoulders and Arms
This workout is all about weights, reps, and form. It felt good to loosen up the sore arms. Caleb was on the couch playing his DS while I punished myself. I think he liked watching me suffer, he laughed quite a bit.

After 1 hour of weights, it was time for the ever-evil AB Ripper. I did much better this time, I am surprised at how much difference two days makes. I still had the form of a 90 year old man having a seizure, but the seizures were less intense. I had to watch my language, the impulse to cuss and scream were pretty great.

Day 2

2009-01-27T06:54:00.000-08:00

This hurts. I woke up at 3:00 am feeling like a zombie had been gnawing on my triceps. You know a workout is effective when you feel the need to stretch out the stiffness at 3:00 in the morning. I took a hot shower and stretched some more this morning, but I still have to use two hands to pick my nose; one to point and the other to push the finger in. All hail power steering, without it I would need to take a cab to clients today.

The amount of food I have to consume is insane. I need to eat 3000 calories a day, most of it in 9 servings of protein. The weird thing is that once I stuff down my meal, snack, fruit, or whatever the case may be, I am hungry again within 30 minutes. I can feel my body rebuilding itself, like Nanobots are inside me, repairing tissue making me stronger, faster, tighter.

Day 2 workout was Plyometrics: "A type of exercise using explosive movements to develop muscular power, esp. bounding, hopping, and jumping"

That should actually read like this; Plyometrics: "A type of exercise that causes the greatest burn your ass cheeks have ever felt."

Funny note, if such a workout can be considered funny. One of the exercises is called the "Mary Catherine lunge". Think "Superstar!" and you've got it right. I guess it must be named after the SNL character, because you imitate her hands to heaven lunges. Very painful.

Day 1

2009-01-26T15:03:00.001-08:00

The Last Supper as it were. I ate this last night at 10:00, followed by some Dark Chocolate Junior Mints.

Today I started out with two slices of Turkey Bacon (I like), and a Protein Shake (not so much.) I also had trouble stuffing down the protein bar at 11:00 AM snack time. The wrapper sure makes it look yummy, but it's like eating a piece of the driveway. Lunch was a turkey and ham on wheat sub with a little bit of cheese and mustard-not bad, I can do this.

The first workout was brutal. It was Chest and Back, followed by the AB Ripper. I was actually crawling on the floor to the notebook so I could record how many of each misery-inducing exercise I was able to do. There are a lot of single digits on that sheet of paper! The AB Ripper was so painful. Most of my favorite hobbies do not require the use of my abs; eating, Xbox, reading, television, sex. Elizabeth did the AB Ripper with me and I made her laugh all the way through it I was so bad at it. I sucked down a quart of water during the 80 minute workout, and another 20 ounces of Recovery Drink after that. I eagerly await the chicken for dinner.

This is going to work, I can already tell, but it hurts to type, so I am outta here.

Tomorrow is another day, only 89 to go!

Day Zero

2009-01-26T13:48:00.000-08:00

I am not fat, so I won't pretend that I am. I will not get weepy about how I eat away the pain, nor will I say that it's not my fault because I have an illness or a glandular problem. I just don't feel as healthy as I should. I haven't gained any weight to speak of over the last several years, but I could be a better eater and a healthier person.

Stats:

Weight 202
Chest 41
Biceps 14.5
Waist 37.5

With that being said, I have decided to endure 90 days of pain, in the form of the Beachbody fitness program called P90X. It is a very intense and thorough program that combines eating properly with training. If this doesn't kill me, I should be better off for it.

Here are some quick reasons for doing this:

1. I have recently felt the need to look down at a flat stomach while sitting on the dumper.
2. Size 32 waist pants-a thing of the future?
3. I do not want Diabetes. I hate needles and illness in general.
4. My kids are getting older and I want to keep up.
5. I am getting older and I want to keep "it" up. Sex is amazing, but could it be even better when you combine experience with being fit?
6. I feel like a loser when I binge at night (ice cream, cocoa, cereal, cake, nachos...in the dark)
7. It's a prove it to myself kind of thing. Think Malachi chapter 3
8. I take a lot of baths to relax, and I am using less and less water every time.
9. So I can go to New Jersey and beat up a bully.
10. My Xbox is being repaired, so there's nothing else to do.

OK, now for the ugly part; the before pictures. I am not usually this sensitive, but damn I am nasty! I do not photograph well at all. I sometimes wonder how Elizabeth can love such a beastly looking freak. I must be really good in bed. Well, from now on it's only going to happen in the dark or by birthday-candle light, and if she wants any afternoon delight I am going to blindfold her for the sake of our marriage.

Full body with no flex. Ever seen a frog dangling from the edge of a cliff?

This is the meat of the matter; I need to burn off the posing pouch. I know it isn't huge, but it will be if I continue down this road. Same thing ever day = same results.

Okay, here is a side view. Please excuse the brightness of the photos, it has been a long winter here in New England. I think I am destined for Heaven because I would make a great angel.

So, now I have exposed myself more than I ever thought I would to anyone in such a public forum (I have always wanted to streak a major event though). I did it for accountability. Now I need to make tracks and post results, so the 2 or 3 people that will actually read this can hold me to the flame of failure should I quit or flake.

BRING IT!