Spare Change

Fire. My muscles were on fire. Never before had I felt pain so debilitating. I could not raise my hands close enough to my mouth to eat. I could not sleep. I could barely work. Keyboards my constant enemy by day, I sat on the couch at night, bemoaning my awful state as my sweet young daughter played nursemaid, wrapping my arms in ice and bandages. I ate more protein than a caveman, drank more water than a drought-thirsty plain at the season's first rain. Bland foods, void of carbs and far away in flavor from the sweet treats that I loved so much, passed over my tongue like bile on its way back up. Egg whites? Skim milk? Vegetables? What private hell had I consigned myself to, and what was my reasoning for doing so?

Change.

Just over two years ago, I needed a physical, mental, and habitual change. The kind of change that altered the course of my daily life. An attitude alteration. A corporeal education. Personal regeneration. All of this and more had driven me to those painful moments. To the foods that would better serve my body while starving me of so many sweet pleasures to which my body had grown so fond of. I chose to change, and found a regimen that would help me to do it. I followed it to the end, and the results could not be argued with. Real results, real change.

Then life spiraled out of control. On a summer day, while standing with Elizabeth under the light of the sun, a darkness unlike any other descended. In an instant, change meant both nothing and everything at the same time. Life was forever changed by death. I am not sure what happened to most of the days that have passed since that awful moment, but it doesn't matter. Even if I did remember, it wouldn't serve to change a thing.

I need another healthy dose of change, so P90X starts again tomorrow.

I think this time I'll let a little bit of sugar and carbs skip through. Just to stay sane. Just for a change.

Day 90

In the past 90 days I have learned that:

1. I can!

2. (Some) good food can be good tasting.

3. Moderation is not a self-inflicted punishment, more does not always mean better.

4. Flexibility; the possibilities are endless...

5. One hour a day is not a large sacrifice for a better health.

6. Muscles are fun!

7. Sleep is more important than I thought.

8. Elizabeth's cookies are the best.

9. Vitamins help keep you healthy (not sick once over the past 90 days).

10. It is good to accomplish a goal that seemed unreachable.

Final Measurements:

Waist: 33.5 (Was 37.5)

Weight: 186 (Was 202)

Not really...it's just the beginning.

Day 89

This was one of my first cannon/gun experiences. Since then I have loaded, cleaned, fired, and owned guns. I have even loaded and fired cannon.

The truth is I never actually walked around with loaded guns on my person...until now!

Thank-you Tony Horton, and thank-you P90x!

Day 88

Stress happens, it's part of life. I have done my best to ignore it, imagine it away, or prevent it all together, but stress enters my life from time to time. Working out has helped. I have learned to drain away the stress by pushing weights into the air, kicking imaginary ninjas, and namaste(ing) myself into a calm. I hope I can get better as time passes and I continue to work out. That is the goal, and what is the point of settings a goal unless you intend to work towards it achievement? I guess I just put myself out there, and come next week it will be time to push-up and pull-up (get it?)

Day 87

I have followed this program for many reasons, one of which is the interest of personal health. To the left is an image of something that makes most men shudder. We all know it has to be done eventually, and we all know the day will come (for me, again) when age will require a regular prostrate inspection. I am not going to pretend that the past 90 days will make me immune to what it is that the doctor's cold and impersonal probing fingers will be searching for, but in my camp we believe that every little bit can't hurt.

Note to any of my friends that know they need to do something that will drastically change the course of their life and physical health but don't feel they possess the strength, faith, or know-how......I know that you can do it. I am a lazy, no good bum when it comes to completing most things that don't involve bed-wrestling, video games, food, fun, or books, but I am about to finish this 90 days, and if I can, anyone can. Just bring it.

Day 86

Though it is rest week, I am doing the cardio workouts in order to keep a rhythm going and so I do not lose steam for the next round. I also feel the need to make up lost ground from a few workouts missed. I need to burn some more goo, more gristle, more gunk, as Tony likes to say.

In this the final week, I find myself looking in the mirror a lot, and even more often down at my stomach. I am impressed with the results strictly on a "Wow, this program really works!" basis, not from a "how powerful I am" or "how great I look" angle. I still feel I have a ways to go. I would like a six pack at least once in my life, and since I don't drink beer I guess it will have to be a belly six pack.

Day 85

Long day, and I could not find the time for the workout. I am frustrated at the failure and do not want this to become the norm, but I am aware that an attitude of failure that stems from missing 1 workout can be more detrimental than the missing of 1 workout. I am trying to find a way to balance everything, that is part of why I started this whole program. What good am I to anyone if I am ripped with muscles and my pants are too big, if I ignore my responsibilities as a husband, father, business owner, brother, son, friend, leader, etc, etc, etc...

It all seems so overwhelming right now. So much has happened over the past three weeks to derail me. I am fighting to stay on the track, reminding myself that I don't have it so bad as the next guy. That self-reminder is all well and good until one more item gets thrown onto the pile that is mine to reduce. My challenges may not seem so large when compared to some, but that doesn't mean they aren't valid. True perspective is not one dimensional; I have been abusing the term for a long time.

Day 84

Here is where I wanted to be on this rest day. I just wanted to experience the peace and serenity of that week spent in Sedona. No worries, no responsibilities, no fuss. Just sun, joy, and a lot of fun.
I am eager to finish this 90 day trek, not just to start eating Junior Mints again, but so that I can start another round of it, this time without all the diet worries. I am curious to see what results I enjoy while eating (some) of my favorite foods in moderation.

Day 83

More to go.

Day 82

And

Feeling good.

Day 81

Let's talk about sacrifice. Wise men have said that sacrifice is giving up something which is good in order to obtain something which is better. I can agree with that, but it doesn't always make the moment of sacrifice any less difficult to endure. I love Cheez Doodles. Not Cheese Puffs, not Cheese Curls, Rings, or Cheezie Doozits. I love Wise brand Cheez Doodles. I have not eaten a Cheez Doodle in weeks and weeks and weeks. My pants have been falling down as of late, and I have to re-tuck my shirt on average of 25 times per day. I know that this is supposed to be the better, but I really miss my Cheez Doodles.

Day 80

I'm a big kid now!
You should see all the pull-ups I can do.

Day 79

Ever see a tank jump? Come and watch me every Tuesday during Plyometrics.

Nuff' said.

Day 78

P90X is like a buckin' bronco.

It tried to shake me last week.

Nuthin' Doin!

Day 77

A good rest day all in all. A good day to rest and reflect.

Day 76

This week has not been the best. I have missed doubles, and even missed a regular workout or two this week due to some major family issues. I have not liked it, but I know that family comes first, so I am okay with it.
With that being said, I did enjoy some form of workout Saturday. I helped a good friend manhandle over 4 tons of bagged wood pellets into the back of a rental truck, then unload them at his house. It was not easy work, and I made the best use of it for my biceps, forearms, and shoulders.

Day 75

Day 74

Emotionally,

Mentally,

Spiritually,

and

Spiritually

drained...

BUT I STILL WORKED OUT!

Day 73

Felt like this today. Didn't get to the workout due to a number of major family issues. Don't regret not working out, just regret not going to BED!

Day 72

I hit it again. The wall.

I came home today, determined to do doubles and Abs. Doubles I did, Abs I did not. By the end of Cardio (which was after Plyo), my feet were leaden, an unbelievable burden to lift. I had to chill.

I need to be wise, or I am going to crash so hard I won't be able to finish this thing.

Day 71

I may have overdone it tonight. After Chest and Back, I wandered downstairs, weary and trembling from exhaustion. Elizabeth was none too happy with me. My eyes were bloodshot and I was barely alert. Nothing a few carbs and a quart of recovery drink couldn't fix though. I am pissed that I couldn't do Ab Ripper X tonight, so I will have to double up for the rest of the week.

Day 70

Restful Conference Sunday.

Day 69

The other day at a client, I was speaking with an accountant regarding his laptop. There was another employee sitting at her desk close by, but when she got up to leave the conversation turned to this:

Him: "Matt, are you okay?" (This in a whisper.)

Me: "Yeah, things are going well, no complaints."

Him: "Matt, you-you're not sick are you?"

Me: "What? Sick? No, I am fine." (Puzzled)

Him: "Matt, I can see it in your face, you have lost weight. Are you sure you're not sick?"

Me: "Wow, I'm glad you noticed, I have been working out, I am doing P90X..."

Anyway, just another boost to the ego.

Day 68

I thought I achieved it; the Yin-Yang of Work-out Nirvana. Life in symmetry, all things constant, time and space surrounding me as equals, blood and breath flowing in with the out, muscles and bones working together to forge my ordinary man into the super. Well...there is more work for me to do. I nearly passed out this afternoon after Legs and Back. I have been pushing pretty hard, and I didn't get enough sleep last night or eat enough food today. Oops, won't do that again. (At least I will try not to do that again.)

Day 67

This is a journey, these 90 days of eating right, working out, trying to stay alert and awake at any given point of the day. With that in mind I thought I would work out to the music of Journey today. (Okay, so I speed-tivo-watched American Idol last night.) Not too bad for pumping iron it turns out; even the slow songs gave me energy. The best was of course, "Don't Stop Believing" but they all had sound rythm, sweet riffs, and they reminded me of good times. Maybe tomorrow I'll try Metallica.

Day 66

My wife was a bit hesitant to post photos of me in my underwear last night, until I reminded her that the first post in this blog has photos of me in my underwear, and that she took them. I think she is just afraid of all the ladies checking out my Sugar Lumps.

Day 65

Okay, I failed to post pictures and measurements at the end of Phase 2, so here they are:

Weight: 190 (day 1 was 202)
Waist: 34 (was 37.5)
Chest: 40
Biceps: 14.5 (same size, but made of muscle, not 14.5 inches of hanging fat)


Some definition the works here...

All that Plyo and Kenpo has paid off in the legs. Feeling good.

Losing 3.5 inches off the waist in 8 weeks feels pretty sweet.

Day 64

I feel hulkish, but on fire at the same time. Push-ups and other tricep exercises one after another for one hour...no mercy, no real break, and no rest for the weary. I hate it, but I love it. Only 4 more weeks to go!

Day 63

This is a painting of the ship "Restless." It captures my feelings for today. Rest days should be more restful, but instead mine was a day of mired urgency. All my sails were unfurled and full of wind, but my anchor line was taut, holding me fast in place.

Day 62

After a doubles workout of Kenpo and Cardio, I felt healthy enough to head off with my kids and nephews in tow to the house of the bacterial mouse; Chuck E. Cheese's. I hope that eating healthy, taking vitamins, and being in great shape will prevent the contraction of third world type illnesses that can come from touching tokens, buttons, and other surfaces that thousands upon thousands of snot rolling, mouth wiping, butt-picking, bathroom using (but not washing) hands have touched.
One can hope, can't he?

Day 61

Today wasn't a day for doing much. I woke up in a funk due to family matters. I had a headache, hadn't slept well, and wasn't in the mood to work out. But I did. I went straight up to the room of pain and did Legs and Back. I am glad I did. I spent the rest of the day on the couch, watching movies (Blueray rocks!) and playing XBox/PS3. I'll do cardio and abs tomorrow with Kenpo.

Day 60

Need sleep...so tired...many workouts...many droplets of sweat...many calories burned...many pounds lost...many more days to go...

But, it could be worse;

I could have to wear a suit everyday.

I could have a two hour commute each way.

I could be abducted by aliens. (that might actually be cool)

I could have only one and one-half eyebrows.

I could be a day trader.

I could be uninspired.

I could be mean.

I could be a woman, and not married to Elizabeth.

I could be in a psych ward in Independence, Missouri...

There is much to live for today, much to live for anyday. BRING IT!

Day 59

My father had a set of antique wooden dumbells, and probably still does. They were very small, so I was always able to lift them with ease. I never understood why they were so light. Today I was wishing for those antique wooden dumbells after I decided to ramp up the weight I used for "Shoulders and Arms." It hurt, but in a good way of course. Fewer reps with more weight equals bigger results. For this last month I am all about the results.

Day 58

Mind over fatter. Plyometrics is all about it. The more you believe, the more you will achieve. It ain't working if it ain't burning, but it's hard to remember that in the very moment your legs are toasting over from squats, hot foot, or truck tires. To quit, to surrender, to call it a day on the first round, that is what your legs scream, so you drown out with the crackling sound of muscles on fire.

Day 57

Boy 6:00 AM comes early, don't she?

I did it though, and I am glad, because Chest and Arms, followed by Ab Ripper X worked me over this afternoon. 205 pushups, almost as many pull-ups, and a whole lotta ab-ripping goin' on.

Day 56

I gotta be honest, I am more apprehensive about starting phase 3 of P90X than I was about starting Phase 1. This is the last 5 weeks, the chance for me to really put up or shut up, and the final push for muscle, fat-burning, and toning up. The schedule is rough, with 4 days a week of doubles, 2 days of singles, and a rest day. I am going to do my best to get up at 6:00 and pump pump out the cardio (43 minutes) so I do not have to worry all day about the impending 2 hour workout waiting for me that afternoon. The meal plan changes too, with more carbs in the diet than proteins. Here we go!

Day 55

I love a good workout now, and so my need for workout clothing has increased more than 6 fold, because I was lucky to work out 1 day a week before P90x. I find myself donning sweaty shirts, still damp from the day before, smelly underwear, and questionable shorts. I am not a stinky person, as most people know I shower three times a day (minimum), so the fact that I am willing to put on clothing that is still moist from yesterday's workout speaks volumes about my need to workout everyday. Monday starts the last phase, and I will be working out even more than I have been. It will be interesting to see what transpires in the clothing department of my life.

Day 54

Call me "The Plank" Core exercises are growing on me. Plank to Chatarunga without dropping the knees, Banana to Superman, Dreya Rolls, it's all good!

Day 53

Why is the man-belly the hardest fat to get rid of? I am ready for the last phase, this things needs to go! I know I have lost weight, and that my pants are falling down, but I want flatness. I know, I must be patient, my DOME wasn't built in a day, so why should it take but a day to demolish?

Day 52

Tonight we hit the library. After that we had a few minutes before piano lessons, so the youngest asked for food, and more particularly, McDonald's. Against better judgment, we went. I ended up ordering a plain grilled chicken sandwich with cheese, and I must confess, I ate a few fries. Turns out I haven't been missing a thing by not eating there for the past couple of months; McDonald's sucks! I thought that I really missed the 1/4 pounder with cheese, but after being in there again tonight, I think I'll pass. Heck, the frozen turkey burgers from Walmart taste better, and are better for me to boot!

I have only a few days left before the big push, the last four weeks of intensity. I plan on bringing it, and not missing a single workout. I may double up on the abs too. I also have to set some strict rules about my eating schedule. I need to eat more often during the day, and I am no longer going to eat after 8:00 from Sunday to Thursday. On weekends I will only eat later if we are out, and in that case I will only eat protein and veggies.

Day 51

I used to hate the Core Synergistics workout, but today I loved it. I engaged my core, and concentrated hard on keeping my form, doing everything right. Well, I can feel it in my "core" as I write this, and it is a good feeling. I am going through confidence ups and downs lately, and have had to remind myself that I just passed the halfway mark, and the hardest is yet to come, with 4 weeks, each with 4 days of doubles ahead. BRING IT!

Day 50

Yoga; A time to clear the mind, sweat out the pores, and flex every muscle in the body. Serious business. Then why do I laugh every time Tony says "Get the turtle head out" when we are in upward dog? P90X may be changing some things about me, but not everything.

Day 49

Whole Wheat; it has never been all that appealing to me. I really like the color brown, but not when it comes to bread, or cereal (unless it includes the word cocoa in the name), or pancakes. And heaven above combine with all the angels to forbid anyone ever putting it in my cookies! Well, that has all changed for me. I now find whole wheat pancakes to be more flavorful and texturous (not a real word), and whole wheat bread to be more rewarding and full of goodness. I enjoy a full grain cereal with raisins. In the past I shunned the dry, boring, whole wheat crackers in search of the white, savory buttered variety instead. No more! This is a new concept for me, and it has not come easily. The last nail in the coffin for white, refined, filtered, flour was the cookies we made today. No butter, no white flour, just whole wheat and a bit of oil, plus several secret ingredients that made the cookie that made my month. I shared them with a group of accomplished cookie consumers this afternoon, and all 16 of them rated the cookies as top notch. I am converted. What is happening to me?

Day 48

I have come to a new point in this process. I use to get headaches if I had a Diet Coke (with lime) every day, and then for whatever reason went a day or two without it. I now suffer headaches if I fail to work out early enough in the day. I think it a mental thing, but nonetheless, it's working.

Day 47

How am I feeling today? I need new jeans, I had to keep pulling them up. With all the misery in the world today, I am glad that this is about the most annoying thing in my life is right now.

Day 46

I was asked again, this time by an older gentleman, if I had lost weight. Yeehaw!

Yoga was not so painful as I always expect it to be. I am able to do push-ups in between dogs, and the vinyasas are not so hard as they used to be. It is harder to do when a six year old is running around the room, screaming, punching walls, etc, but I dealt with it well until he started leaping over me while I was in corpse. I sent him from the room at that point.